the 7 habits of highly effective people - part 13

Habit 5:  Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
The name of the habit explains this one.  It starts with explaining the importance of listening, empathic listening.  I love this book because it throws out all the past jargon of listening skills and exposes them in the reality of what it does.  People can see right through it.  Either you are genuinely listening or you're not.

This book can be useful in so many areas of life.  Having relationship issues?  Try empathic listening - it is a BIG deposit in the emotional bank account.  It gives a person "psychological air".  Covey compares it to the air we breath, if suddenly all the air was sucked out of the room, you would strive for nothing else but to get air - survival would be your only motivation.

Similarly, the greatest need (next to physical survival) of a human being is psychological survival - to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated. AFTER THAT VITAL NEED IS MET, YOU CAN THEN FOCUS ON PROBLEM SOLVING. When the bank account is healthy.

So true.

"This need for psychological air impacts communication in every area of life."

Are you listening??